This is one of the worst weeks of my entire life. Not only was I rejected (for probably the same reason that I’ve been rejected the last..what..like SIX times), I was rejected after paying 100+ dollars for traveling to a foreign country. I’m such a loser. Is it a bad thing to want someone who actually likes me for who I am? I wish someone would. I really need it right now. Considering quitting my job and leaving europe.
SUASODJ FKAD:J SAJK DJFJdak fje ii iamsosaditfuckingsuckswhyisthisevenhappeningIthinkI’mkindofacatchatleastwhycantanyoneelseseethat???
I had this entire trip planned out and now I feel like just giving up. Re-planning is SO FRUSTRATING. (and also expensive. fml)
I am very frustrated. VERY frustrated. I will never be part of a solid group here and it really pisses me off. No matter who I end up spending the most of my time with, I will always be an outsider. I’m not Austrian, I’m not a student, and I’m not a woman so I don’t even fit in with the au pairs. The gay community is too small and too difficult to even become a part of as a non-German speaker.
Regardless of how I’m doing at my job, I will never feel fully content or at home in this country. This realization sucks. Truthfully, I am extremely grateful for this opportunity, but at the same time I am very sad.
Being broke sucks too. Watch: I’m not even going to get into Swarthmore next week. That’ll just be the cherry on the fucking sundae.
This weekend some girl in a bar started flirting with me (obviously I didn’t reciprocate) and after a while she called me a heartbreaker. Ironic..
Can I just scream “I’M GAY” at the next woman that starts hitting on me? This happens EVERY time I go out.. fml